Idealism in Singlehood

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Ever since my sister got married last November, family friends and church mates would come up to me and pose questions like, “O ikaw, kelan ka?” or “May wedding bells na ba?” I look at them and they have this big grin on their faces, as if they knew something. Coyly, I would answer and utter the most famous words of a single girl, who exactly does not want to be confronted with such inquiries: “Wala pa po akong boyfriend…”

I have been single for 6 years (egad!). Yes, 6 years. After four years of hopping from one relationship to another, hoping to find the seemingly Mr. Right, I stopped. I suddenly lost interest, or maybe they lost interest. Whatever it is, I couldn’t picture myself in any relationship anymore. Men who have come in and out of my life made me believe that Mr. Right is nowhere to be found. He’s just a figment of any idealistic girl’s imagination which can never exist in real life. The world made me believe too that I’m a little girl looking for an imported chocolate bar in my toy closet. The impossibility of finding him was manifested more and more. Believing in it would either mean you’re idealistic or crazy.

But then one guy came. One guy who totally swept me off my feet. I started to love him but because I thought nobody could ever be my Mr. Right, I lost faith in him and he lost faith in me as well. Ironically, it was like a shattered dream which was never even there in the first place. I started to blame the world and even past boyfriends but then again, it all boiled down to me. I chose to believe in them and because of that, I learned the hard way that one can never be too idealistic or even crazy when it comes to a relationship. And that the world is just too cynical and bitter in accepting the truth that we all deserve to be happy by having dreams and imaginations of our own that are to be pursued and fulfilled.

I still carry this to this day as a single woman who looks forward to her dream of having her knight in shining armor come right at her doorstep. The world will keep on laughing at me for that but who cares? I will not let any feet-sweeper slip away ever again.